- C'mon in right here, the man smiled at the door of this old 20 foot house right at the hullaballoo of the ever so busy intersection of US Hwy 101 & Santa Monica Blvd. I kind of stumbled over the four warped steps up into his "kingdom" barely missing a cat cozily snugged there in the shade of the uppermost step.
Yeah being something like an incarnation of Lil' Saint Nick is a hard job to fulfill, especially when you're bound to perform this trick in a rather filthy rich side of town, and then you fall on this - to tell it the conservative way - on this lousy property. I stare at my written info and it really reads Last call 10001, USHwy 101 / Santa Monica Blvd, The Joey and Sandra Dormer Family, 5 kids age 11 down; gifts to handle over: one bag of assorted Euro nuts. Being a straight shooter I think by myself, be a good guy and add some chocolates of your own, might be there are some poor fellas in this kind of - mmmh - house.
One single dim bulb is trying to enlighten the darkness of a crammed room. You don't see, no, but you FEEL there are a couple kids. More feeling than really knowing or seeing my path through unidentified stuff laying around on the floor I stumble forward, Ho Ho Ho it's Santa kids, and then all of a sudden a plethora of lights engulfes me leaving my eyes suffering from pain due to the extreme difference between almost blackish darkness and then - you can possibly imagine me being stopped cold turkey!
Surprise! Five young and two grown up voices are almost yelling at me, Merry Christmas, Saint Nicholas! After twinkling a good amount of time I realize there are a nice looking pair of twin girls surrounded by their siblings sitting on a jammed sofa, all of them with white-blonde hair and smiling, beneath a golden bombshell! Holy Lord, never in my dark life did I ever DARE to dream of such a beauty respectively of meeting or seeing a woman like her in real life! She wins my heart hands down!
Of course I knew of these goodlooking divas and movie goddesses.
Yes, it is reality, here I stand almost losing my mind. I stare at this wonderfully filled immaculate white silk shirt and my voice doesn't come back, I stick taciturn. ls this heaven or is this hell - I don't know anything anymore until I feel a friendly hit on my right shoulder telling me to advance. I don't know - this face is looking all too familiar - I don't know. My head is aching. I don't know I don't know I don't know. What the heck...
By now I could see that "stuff" on the floor were nifty clouds made out of cotton surrounding a handful of soft toys. And there was a REAL X-mas tree, not a plastic fantastic tree, shining with glassware angels and stars, balls, trumpets and drums, and lighted candles.
I bet my face was turning kinda goofy. - Thank you, Ho Ho Ho, thank you for this warm welcome! Yes - my voice had regained body and soul. Dear children, dear Madam, dear Sir, here is what Santa has got in his bag for you friendly folks, a good old paperbag full of assorted nuts and a couple chocolates as well, Ho Ho Ho. Joe grinned over my shoulder as I was grabbing in my canvas bag reaching for the last gifts I had stowed inside.
Think of it like this: You know there are people out there that have got more than their share of wealthiness and luck, glamour and glory. And then you see other folks that are happy with the little things they call their own. I was humbled by this Dormer family!
- Have a seat, I heared and I mumbled something like Thank you, very kindly, with pleasure. The lady smiled an unsurpassingly golden smile at me while I still was trying to put my thoughts into the right order. Who was she? Who was he? Who the heck was this entire family? No screaming, no shoving, no yelling - that's not the way average children are behaving in our glorious US of A.
I could not find the answers to my questions but I knew I liked the gorgeous smell out of the oven; must be a super bird, kind of a Wild Turkey From Heaven!
The beautiful girl - no: the distinctive looking young lady writhed her incredible body out of the cluster of patient and smiling kids and advanced to me saying: Hi, I am Genie and I know you're Carl The Virginian. I nodded in anticipation what the hell she knew more of me never paying any attention to what she said and / or knew out of my life, her being a witch, a down home angel, whatsoever, I surrendered, I just stared into her deep blue eyes.
The man kind of pushed me slowly to the table and when I had taken the seat at the forehead the children rushed to their respective places talking low and looking at me with friendly eyes under their white-blonde hair.
Still my reactions came sluggishly - what could I say. Still didn't know if it was heaven or if it was hell. Still my ideas melted like butter under the warm California sun. My brain became a mass of slime. WHO WAS SHE? WHO IS SHE? I tortured my memory nodding more or less automatically as the beauty offered my a slice of that heavenly smelling turkey. And yes the gravy was worth an entire evening to be spent here!
Who is she? What is she doing here? Why is she here? What am I doing here? Why am I here? My head goes bang and I don't feel the taste of the bird anymore. Through a cloud of tangerine fog I see the children enjoying the dinner. O ghastly ghouls get off my brain please, I don't know - is it day or is it night. My knees begin trembling; I am drowning in my poor old thoughts. My consciousness fades away. I slide off the carved stool.
When I regain consciousness I feel a pair of incredibly warm, firm and subtle breasts surrounding my humming head. Fingers are stroking my face carefully. O feeling can't you stay forever and ever? A very embarrassed flock of kids is surrounding a concerned dad, and all of them are not aware I am flying away with this woman from heaven.
I feel her heartbeat, I feel her breath on my naked forehead. Where is my wig? Uh, there it is laying on the table, and there's my good old white Santa's beard. I relax and apply a tiny little bit of backpressure to this goddesses heavenly body. I feel her heartbeat gaining pace. I know we're almost there. She kind of sings - Let me take you to my room, and she helps me from the seat.
Joe and the kids are left behind. Genie helps me to the easy chair. I look into a pair of incredibly blue eyes. No word ends the spell. Her smile is lasting forever, then it fades.
And THEN it hits me like a hammer, THEN I know, I remember: Summer of '96 - gone fishing - Ashley River - pink salmon - this blonde beauty on the other side of the water across from Middleton Place where I was sitting with my fishing rod. - THIS SMILE - Jesus Christ!
It's Jennifer! It's her, the one and only aim of my life!
- Jennifer, is that really you? I heard myself ask with an alien voice.
This smile, this heavenly silky skin soothing my soul! Here comes her sweet voice again:
- All my life I've been waiting for this moment to arrive, my dear and beloveth Carl. Time seemed to be stuck without you!
- But how - you know I ran away leaving you behind, you know I love you but I was afraid of my family. I left you without a warning. I was unfa...
- Ssssh, quiet my love! Her right index finger closed my mouth.
I blushed from shame.
- Never have I been together with another man, she continued with her angel eyes looking straight into mine. As I had promised you when we first made love under that good old Sycamore tree right at the banks of the river near Old Dorcester Park I have been waiting for you. I have been waiting all my life for this moment to arrive. Last fall I graduated from MUSC with a doctor's degree and I moved to the greater Los Angeles area as I felt, no, I KNEW you were there. Got a job as an assistant gynecologist at Anaheim's Memorial Hospital but it's no fun. First I lived in Pomona just down the road from LA Cy Fair Grounds knowing that you have been involved in Drag Racing. I even spent three of the four Winternationals days there peeping into every team's trailor and asking the likes of Shirley, Darrell, Kenny, and Rhonda about you but to no avail.
- Been stuck in San Bernardino's Medical Center due to a terrible case of Hongkong Flu.
- If only I knew about that! Don't ask me why - I really felt YOU WERE THERE in the area! Even asked the Bavarian brew master at Fullerton Hofbrau during Alan Jackson's concert; they remembered you too. I called both Ronald and Henrik, and even Guenter didn't know exactly where you were. But then I KNEW it rightaway when I tried to find a decent Santa for this family at the office of the mayor downtown. Last week Joe's wife, my very best friend Euro-born Sandra was to undergo surgery to her ankle as she has got a badly torn joint from jumping over a fence and she's bound to stay hospitalized until New Years Eve or even longer.
- Jenny - Genie - I'm flattened, I, I, I...
- Hush! She closes my lips with her own swelling pair of ruby red lips.
O my God don't let it be a dream! Is this lady luck? I look at her beloved golden hair with my eyes wide open and I realize it is real, IT IS TRUE, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD IS HUGGING ME! She is giving all of her love to me via her hands ...
When she stroked my sweltering face I recalled the magic of her Voodoo fingers back home in the Low Country, back home near the stable of her chestnut stallion, back home in the Western parts of the Beidler National Forest, back home oooh back home. I almost fainted again but my poor brain kind of boosted me back to life with anticipation of what would come next. Good Lord this HAD to be a dream! Gimme a break - NO! Keep on going Jennifer! Take me!
- Need an Aspirine or an Ibuprofene caplet, I heard me say.
- No this is by far better, every chemically prepared medicine is a pain in the neck, Jennifer smiled, I'm sticking with homeopathy!
And she kissed me over and over and over again, and my heart felt freed from that soul-related hoarfrost, my aching head was forgotten in a hurry, we were sitting on cloud nine, no - we were huddling there like volcanoes waiting for an eruption.
Tender loving hands grab Santa's gown and free me from my shirt.
We're flying.
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